a serialized online story
by Tommy Schmitz
Chapter 12 - Green tea and treats uneaten.
They were drinking-in long silences -
unselfconscious -
over cups of loose green tea.
Obá-chan put out a plate of rice crackers
short bread cookies and semi-sweet chocolates
and these remained as they were, untouched,
unlike those who sat at the table.
"No green tea for fifty years," Obá-chan repeated her youngest brother's words.
"Well, none this special," he said.
"None this special existed even here
during post war years
until ... after..." Obá-chan hesitated.
"My departure," Kenji said.
"How does it happen, Kenji-san, that we .... ? oh, I'm sorry..." Obá-chan said, "Satchitananda."
"You, One-san, can call me whatever you like."
"Thank you, Satchitananda," Obá-chan started again, "how.... how can such things happen?
We are simple people. You too, hmmm, Ototo-san?"
Obá-chan addressed Kenji, in the honorific, as younger brother,
the only name she ever called him
growing up at home.
He smiled at how the sound of this word
coming from her voice
invoked a long ago
sense of sweetness,
for his older sister,
deep and shimmering,
now pouring out
inside him, unforgotten,
untouched unknown by time.
" 'How does it happen' I was going to say, Ototo-san,"
Obá-chan was speaking at barely a crawls pace,
monotone, whispering and thoughtful,
connected to herself.
I am seventy five years old,
too old
I used to pray
for too much life as this.
How is it that
opposed and infinite feelings
overwhelm me right now,
of loss.
and of joy,
I used to pray
I was not one built
to run on such a rich admixture
of fuel
if I were to live to old age.
I am so delighted,
stunned,
you are here,
and also lost,
broken,
incomplete.
My daughter is missing,
and somehow I've gone missing too."
Kenji was nodding
almost imperceptibly
with every word she spoke.
"I am so sorry, Ototo-san,
this should be a time of great celebration...
not a time of pain and confusion."
She filled again the pot
and added a pinch more tea
then set the pot aside.
"How is it, Ototo-san,
in the eyes of the Divine,
when joy
and hopelessness
walk hand in hand?
Are we not the most insane
of anything at all
in God's entire creation?"
She tipped the pot into
her brothers cup.
He lifted the pot
from her hands
and tipped it likewise into hers.
"You are still Japanese, Ototo-san."
He smiled.
"I am sorry to go on about me,
you must be exhausted,
though you don't look it.
When did you arrive in Japan?"
"Six days ago. he said.
"Six days ago?" she repeated.
"Where did you go?
What did you do?
Six days?" Obá-chan said again. "How long has this been going on?"
"In spite of news reports yesterday,
Mieko and Henry were taken
nearly two weeks ago.
When I heard about it,
I began my journey here."
I do not understand, Ototo-san,
why you would leave your space on earth
just as your own family... and in your own front yard,"
she stopped and covered her mouth and lowered her head.
"I came here
without weighing the pros and cons
of where I should be, One-san."
"But what can you possibly do here?" she said.
He looked quietly at her.
"Did you come here without even a plan?" she said.
He smiled.
"There are plans coming together, One-san.
though none that required unpacking
upon my arrival in Japan." he said.
"Back to my earlier question, then, Ototo-san,
for the past six days
where have you gone,
what have you been doing?"
"I made friends at Tokyo Station,
and Ueno Station,
and quite a few in Shinjuku." he said.
"Friends." Obá-chan said -- a bit skeptical.
He nodded his head.
She only shook hers.
"Let's go back even earlier.
Why and how did my children go missing in Kashmir?"
"There are two groups who claim responsibility:
one Muslim. one Hindu." he explained.
"That's absurd." Obá-chan said.
"Yes it is, One-san. It is indeed absurd,
and unfortunately also true." he said.
"Would you not have been the ideal negotiator, Ototo-san?
with your experience, your connections
had you stayed?"
"I am known, yes, by many in both cultures, One-san,
as one who favors harmony and community
over separation and security.
In the eyes of some younger groups, however,
I am old school
and disconnected from what they believe is real." Kenji said.
"I'm grateful you are here. Obá-chan said, " and so utterly confused.
"I am worried, too, about the girls, Katie and Susan.
They are dedicated young athletes,
with a crucial national competition
just six days from now.
Do they just wipe the feelings of this devastation
from their minds, pretend it's not happening,
train like little robots for hours on end, and compete like heartless soldiers?
Please understand, Ototo-san, I want them to do well.
And Katie and Susan want to win.
But the shock of this I don't believe has hit them yet.
When it does, I am worried how they'll react,
and what effect it might have on them,
not just for the competition, but for the remainder of their lives.
Surely, Ototo-san, you understand this, do you not?
"Would you allow me, One-san, to spend some time with them this evening,
and perhaps the next few evenings, if they are agreeable, of course."
"Don't worry about that. Any chance to do anything,
a bit different in their day, is a rare luxury for them, and you do, beyond your blood connection,
have perhaps something they need right now.
"What is that, One-san?"
"I don't know." she smiled looking away with a hint of gotcha back.
He thought a moment,
"It is not youth, per se, nor inexperience or folly
that misguides them now and then,
even of these kidnappers in Kashmir." he said.
"Kidnappers?" Obá-chan interrupted, "they are not kidnappers. they are terrorists, Ototo-san!"
Perhaps, One-san, you'll allow a continuation
of that important topic soon,
but allow me to say this, "Youth are given little room
on this planet
to manifest the beautiful wisdom
they must hide inside themselves.
Children in this world
have power unmeasured, unmapped...
have reservoirs of knowledge and love and intuition ...
to which the older of us are blind.
and yet... what hurts them as children
keeps hurting them as adults...
That night... do you remember, One-san?,
as we walked to safety ... the whole family?
"I feel so badly about what happened to you." Obá-chan said.
"Well... I am not referring to me....
someone else in our family was also badly hurt that night,
and that pain is not only buried,
it is sadly buried alive
and boiling with a pressure that, true, may never explode,
but does keep the one who suffers
from living, and loving, and being themselves.
And out of adulthood ignorance,
keeps them seeking relief by spreading their pain around."
"Who? What? What happened? Who is it?" Obá-chan said.
"Will you do me the favor
of allowing this story
to unfold on its own a bit more
before you learn the details?" Kenji said.
She tilted her head and squinted her eyes.
"And one additional favor, One-san. Please tell no one I have returned?"
"What about the girls? Obá-chan said.
"Tell them who I am right now." he said.
Obá-chan squinted a bit harder.
"Tell them only I am Satchitananda."
And with that he almost made her smile.
(end of Chapter 12)
